Writing in France Ain't Always Romance

It's Launch Week for a Brand New Book and I'm Very Proud to Be Part of It (Plus a Photo of Me from the 80s You Don't Want to Miss)

Did you ever dream of writing a memoir, a French style book? Un roman (A novel)? I penned my first “book” at age six, in a gluey, yellowed tablet I must’ve found in a drawer at our faux colonial apartment townhouse in Dayton, Ohio.

This debut tome was titled, Mary the Witch, and it starred a compelling and brilliant young woman just about my age who could (surprise!) cast a spell on her mother to get her to do whatever the f*** she wanted. I even illustrated the stick figures (clever lunging kid witch and bewildered recoiling mother) that accompanied the story. Can’t believe it was never published ha!

Writing has always been at the heart of everything I do. Even in my career as a party designer, which is a very visual métier (job). Since I was never any good at sketching, I used narrative storytelling to describe the events I was creating—I painted pictures of entrances, ceremonies and shared moments—with my pretty palette of words.

Long before I came to New York (and then Paris), I was—wait for it—a globe-trotting magician’s assistant. Yep. And at age 17, I helped get our act a spot on the World Cruise with a marketing campaign I wrote (the magician, who was excellent at magic and woodworking, was alas, no Hemingway).

Scroll alllll the way down to the bottom of this post to see a photo of me in full turquoise cruise-ship-show regalia!

In the world of weddings and home entertaining, I’ve written the popular Simple Stunning Series. One word of caution: before clicking on this link to the author page on my website, do take a moment to prepare yourself for my New York eyebrows.

I’m currently at work on a thriller (which is my dream project, but also the most difficult and slow writing I’ve ever done).

I’ve even crafted some death-centered (but not at all morbid) poetry, inspired by actual Japanese death poems in this incredible book, to promote my former startup, Farewelling, which was created to help folks think about their values and priorities when looking at the woefully underserved end-of-life experience. With my dearest friend Erica (also une ecrivaine and a podcast co-host), I’d set up a table with my old aqua-blue manual typewriter in Fort Greene Park (in Brooklyn) and I’d tap out insta-poems on index cards and give them away to passersby, while Erica sold copies of her memoir, Teaching Hamlet While My Father Died.

Our Fort Greene weekends in 2020, giving away poems and signing books

So over these last two years, as I’ve been making a huge transition to living in France, writing has been an anchor for me, something I can lean on and lean into. In 2022, shortly after I’d moved to Paris permanently to live with Monsieur B, we received a request at Farewelling to write an obituary for a man whose wife had just died. I jumped on a call with Bob Shearer, and we soon discovered that we were both from Ohio.

After the obituary, Bob asked me to write the eulogy for a one-of-a-kind celebration of life he planned for his sweet Melissa, who had won her battle with uterine cancer for eight years. The sendoff he created after months of being plunged into grief was tailored to everything she loved, complete with a horse-drawn carriage and custom-made shadowboxes of souvenirs for those who couldn’t attend.

It’s such an amazing feeling to see a book really come from idea into being

When he reached out to me a few months later with the idea to write a guidebook for couples navigating cancer together, I jumped at the opportunity to be his co-writer. For Bob, this was an act of service to the community and an elegy to the woman he had loved for thirty years. He wanted first to help people going through the chaos and stress of serious illness while trying to nurture their relationship; and second, to raise money for cancer research.

Bob and I have worked together for more than 18 months on this project—which was a complete departure from all the other writing I’ve ever done—and this week, I’m proud to announce that the book is a reality!

We Were Better Together is structured as a journey along the waypoints of cancer (or any serious illness), with practical advice from what Bob and Melissa learned, as well as a series of fascinating conversations with respected physicians, spiritual leaders, estate planning experts, sports therapists, psychologists, wellness coaches and preventive health gurus. There is guidance for communicating with doctors, keeping intimacy alive during an illness, and even a deep dive into the benefits of earlier hospice and honoring the memory of someone you love.

Each chapter opens with one of the heartfelt letters that Bob wrote to Melissa after her death, and I’m here to tell you…Well, just get the tissues ready because it’s #waterworks.

If you know someone who might be helped by this book, I hope you’ll take a look at it. It’s available in hardcover, paperback or as an e-book.

Bonus! All the proceeds from sales of the book go to benefit cancer research! If you’re interested, here’s a website Bob created about the project.

Sincere gratitude to everyone who helped make this project a reality, and a special thanks to the author himself, Bob Shearer, for his faith in me, and for the true friendship that grew alongside the book. What an honor to be a part of this important work.

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Château Chenonceau, Loire Valley. Serieusement (seriously) if you want to see one castle in France other than Versailles, this would be top of my list, right up there with Vaux-le-Vicomte

La Semaine Prochaine (Next Week)
Fun French updates plus wine and chateaux from the Loire Valley! If you can’t wait and you just want to read about my unending (often embarrassing) journey getting fluent in French, go ahead and skip on over here to read my latest piece for My French Life™ magazine.

And if you made it all the way to the end of this post, here’s that photo I mentioned— the one of me as a teenage magician’s assistant on a cruise ship in the 1980s.

Yes, I’m the lady in the feather boa and point gloves about to be stuffed into the teeny Taj Mahal and stabbed with all those knives before reappearing unscathed in a different outfit altogether. I wish I could remember everyone’s name, but I cannot forget Doug (the mustachioed Cruise Director) and Mara (the leaning brunette) who were a ballroom dance duo!

Eh ben voilà. Bisous et bon week-end !

Karen