Living in France for Two Years and I Have Thoughts
Real Talk on What It's Like Making a Seismic Life Change (with Links to Prove It)
Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, something wonderful and inspiring? But when you really drill down into the possibility of making it happen, it’s so big, so far away (literally or in your imagination), so complicated—you just set it aside for now?
That’s sort of the story of my life (multiple times) except that in some cases, I’ve just gone for it, you know, seat-o-the-pants style, even when, for example, I had no business being in business. When I started my first business I didn’t even realize I had “a business.” I just wanted to not work for anyone else.
Although I have beef with my mother on a number of issues, I credit her largely with preparing me (perhaps unwittingly) to be fearless, to trust my instincts and take great (and potentially risky) leaps. Side note: I also credit her with my freakishly perfect cholesterol counts because today, mon médecin traitant (my primary care doctor) told me that j’ai de la chance (I’m lucky) and it’s genetic. Merci, Maman !
But when I met Monsieur B and we fell in love, I knew right away that being with him, in France, was exactly where I belonged. That news didn’t go over so well with my family, but what can you do? Um, you can get married and move to France!
Et voilà here we are, on my two year anniversary of being a real French resident. I moved to France définitivement (permanently) on April 30, 2022, just in time for le 1er mai (the 1st of May), also known as la fête du Travail (basically the equivalent of Labor Day in the US). It’s un jour férié (a work holiday), and traditionally, friends and family exchange des muguets (stems or plantings of lily-of-the-valley).
Here’s a partial list of some stuff I’ve done since getting here and how I feel about it:
Got my 1-year visa then my 2-year titre de séjour (resident card): slightly annoying
Did four full days of formation civique (resident training) with the French immigration authorities: loved it!
(Finally) got my French driving license: still traumatized
Opened a French company: proud but still strategizing
Dealt with a few things that didn’t work out
Filed French taxes (twice!): things are more organized here
Found out by surprise what French “social charges” are (rrroh-la-la !): initially horrified, now dealing
Survived my very first sailing trip in the Netherlands: stressed because the next one is coming up
Ghost-wrote a book for couples navigating cancer (comes out in May—more soon): super proud
Started a novel (it’s a thriller set in French wine country): making progress
Visited at least 56 Chateaux and Monasteries (my absolute fave: Chateau de Chenonceau in the Loire Valley, with its feminine influence and magnificent flowers in every room)
Started the French Wine Scholar program through the Wine Scholar Guild: excited and intimidated at the same time
Visited at least 13 wine regions and even adopted (thanks to Monsieur B) the tiniest part of a vineyard in Pic Saint-Loup: what’s not to like!
Renovated two homes (still in progress): will it ever end?
Planted bulbs in our garden (my first time ever): wonderful
Joined a French running club: got injured but I love the WhatsApp chat group where the French ladies flirt with the coach
Joined the American Club of Paris: a lot of fun
Made a few really cool new friends
Took 110 French lessons even thought I’m technically fluent: still hard
Learned vocab for going to the doctor, going to the dentist, car equipment, business accounting processes, home renovation, and even how to say “pork butt” while cooking David Chang’s bo ssam: still don’t really know how to say pork butt
Embarrassed myself at least 300 times making mistakes in French (I stopped counting after I told my husband, accidentally, in the grocery store in front of three other people that I wanted to cook salmon “naked” when what I wanted to say was “sautée it”—à poil vs à la poêle): whatevs, I’m out here trying!
Became a contributor to MyFrenchLife™ magazine: delighted
Ate more than my weight in baguette and fromage: loved every bite, now a complete butter (salted) and bread (tradition avec des graines) snob
But (aside from my husband) what am I most grateful for? Starting a Substack and exchanging beautiful ideas and fun stories with you, this amazing community. Thank you so much for all your comments, your support and your encouragement. It means so much to me. Merci merci !
There have been some real challenges, lots of emotions, definitely some confidence hits and some confidence builders. But I am so happy I took that leap into Monsieur B’s heart and home. We are living a real adventure together, and it’s so good.
Today I passed by the office of the folks who renovated our kitchen last year (note: they were NOT responsible for the kitchen window that nearly killed me). The proprietor gave me a compliment. He said that my French has improved. This was a happy moment, as I’ve worked so hard every day in these past two years, but I couldn’t resist. I told him, “Mais, attendez encore deux ans, vous allez voir !” (Just wait two more years and you’ll see!).
I am so grateful and inspired and awed by everything these two years have brought to my life. I had no idea that at 54 years old I would meet the love of my life, move to France and start a brand new adventure. Even though I’m still right in the heart of my transition and so much is unknown, I can’t wait to keep living every moment, learning much more, and loving with my whole heart. Also, can’t wait to cook this Tarragon Roasted Spatchcock Chicken from the adorable farmer-chef Julius Roberts.
Merci France et merci à vous, les amis ! (Thank you France and thank you, friends!)
Bisous,
Karen
Your energy is contagious! Love your openness and realistic positivity (is that even a thing?). At a crossroads in my life (at 54 years old!), so also juste un tout tout petite jalouse. In the best possible (inspired) way!
Loved your list. I can relate to most of it. 😂😂