How to Meet Other Cool Creative Women This Year
Plus, Hot as the Devil's Undies in France, Inappropriate Calf Tattoos, and a Mini Complaints Department (Expat Edition)
Bonjour les ami(e)s,
J’espère que vous allez bien (I hope you’re doing well). Ça fait un bail, non ? (It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?) Mais ça fait très plaisir de vous voir ici (But it’s great to see you).
If you’re new to La Flâneuse, I’m Karen, a lifelong creative—author, designer, and entrepreneur. I live in Paris because I moved to France for love in 2022 (at the age of 54, after a friend forced me to create a Bumble profile against my will), and I love to share stories and inspiration about living a bold and playful life.
To each and everyone one of you who are here—merci merci.
Before we get started, please don’t forget to scroll down a bit, locate the photograph I snapped of a man’s calves in a medieval French village, zoom right on in, then evaluate his clearly intentional permanent aesthetic tattoo choices. When you’re ready, please tell me, does he have a girlfriend, or prolly not?
Heatwave in Paris! No Big Deal, Except Most of Us Don’t Have Air Conditioning
Oh gosh, I just realized it’s the 4th of July! Obviously in France it’s not a thing unless you organize un barbecue on the weekend or go to one of the expat parties.
So me? I’m just here under the pergola on my garden terrace, and it’s just Friday and Monsieur B is upstairs in his office working from home. That being said, I will be putting together un panier de pique-nique pour ce soir (a picnic basket for tonight), as we’re going to Les Zapéros—an apéro-concert in a small village near ours called Flagy. It’s something a lot of French villages do in the summertime—they’ll set up long tables in a big central place and everyone brings their own food and drinks or buys des merguez (spicy sausages) and beer for a few euros. There’s dancing and often sharing wine and food with your table neighbors and genuine French summer revelry. Sometimes there’s a night market along with the music, which is really fun, too.
I love the combo of the beautiful old stone building, the climbing roses, and the rock vibes. Does anyone know what song that is (sound on 📣)?
It’s Too Hot. Je Dis Ça, Je Dis Rien (Just Sayin’)
I’m not going to spend a lot of time lamenting how dang 🔥 scorching hot 🔥 it has been in Paris depuis dix jours (for the past ten days) as I’m writing this, because I know it’s la canicule (a heatwave) all over the place right now. If like me, you don’t have air-conditioning (aka la clim), I wish you the next best thing (and my secret weapons): un eventail (an old-fashioned folding fan to open on the metro) and an extra-large brumisateur (a spray bottle of compressed mineral water) tucked away in your refrigerator, just waiting for the chance to mist you!
For those of you who adore an educational graphic, Monsieur B schooled me this morning pendant qu’on prenait le petit-dèj (while we were having breakfast) all about Mr. Celsius vs. Mr. Fahrenheit, because I observed that when I used the formula I’d learned to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit (temperature in celsius X 2 +30), it seemed to be less exact the hotter it got. Mais honnêtement, je ne suis pas du tout douée en maths (But honestly, I’m not any good at math).
On Veut la Brume ! (We Want the Mist!)
Speaking of delightful hot-as-hell hacks, as I was traipsing around le Marais the other day hugging the slivers of shadow where stone walls met sidewalks, I noticed that one of my favorite super-casual restaurants—Le Pick-Clops—was actually misting its customers à l’extérieur (outdoors) every so often via a contraption in the awnings, as though they were VIP loungers at a luxury resort on the Mar de Cortés (or delicate lettuces in an upscale supermarket).
Alors, given this premier tier-level amenity, I moved the already beloved and adorable diner-esque eatery to le top of my Paris Heatwave Survival Style Guide!
That being said, I’m still running around town using the giggle-worthy new expression I learned, which perfectly describes the sizzling situation these past days:
Putain, il fait chaud comme dans le slip du diable (Damn, it’s hotter than inside the devil’s tighty-whities) 🤭 😈 🥵
You Know What’s Really Hot? Calling All Creative Women Who Love Paris
One of the biggest surprises of my new life in Paris is the number of incredibly cool and fun and artistic or arts-interested women I have met and befriended. I never thought I’d be this lucky, nor that my social circle would grow so rich and fulfilling within just three years of moving to France.
Another fruit of this beautiful discovery has taken root right here on Substack, where I’ve connected with so many thoughtful, brilliant women. We seem to just “get” each other, and this platform has given us a place to share—plus a springboard from which to actually meet in real conversation—online and even in person right here in Paris. The online meet-up community I started through La Flâneuse this year (it’s called Le Salon by La Flâneuse) has been a highlight of our shared community.
As a result of these fortunate rencontrés (meetings), for the first time ever, I’ll be hosting a special group of women for a magical few days in Paris in October 2025. And if you’re quick, you can join us because there are still three places left!
Some of you know that an essential part of my background is designing bespoke and meaningful events, and that’s exactly what this will be—a chance to unlock and prioritize our creativity and our dream projects, to build practices to support our dearest work, and to finally bring our work to life. This is my passion, and I cannot wait to unlock this Parisian insider adventure with other women who are ready to go deeper and play joyfully to enrich our lives.
I made a little video about it right here ⇩ if you want to see me spinning in the streets like a Parisian Stevie Nicks 💃🏻
How I Found Real Connection and Community with Other Creative Women in Paris
Like any treasure, you have to seek it to find it. You’ll need to polish your own self up too, and go combing and sifting for gold, patient and with an open spirit. Whether you’re looking for creative collaboration, friendship or both, here are a few things that have worked for me, although occasionally I’ve misjudged a shiny object for something more valuable than it turned out to be. That’s all part of it. Let me know if you’ve tried any of these, wherever you live!
Use Your Connections. The best way I’ve found to meet fascinating women is to ask other interesting women you only know slightly to introduce you to someone they think you might like or with whom you might have some synergy. A contact who is not completely within your inner circle already may have a spidey-sense about you and someone else on their radar. This has happened to me in a big way—I met one of my favorite friends through a lovely woman I met one time for one coffee. Try it!
My take: it’s always worth a coffee or un verre (a drink) to see if there’s chemistry. You never know what will come of it.
Join Groups. I’ve talked about the American Women’s Group in Paris before, but it is just such a wonderful resource. One of the things I love most is that we have a whole gob of dedicated WhatsApp text chains for museum lovers, foodies, photography, and even just plain “chit-chat” where I promise you, you can summon the answer to any question that is plaguing you in Paris, from the best pneumologue (pulmonologist) to the ins-and-outs of how to rent an apartment, furnished or unfurnished, short-term or long-term.
The group is so generous and supportive. It’s also a reliable source of fantastic get-together opportunities for museum tours and expositions, plus workshops, le mah-jong and last-minute concert tickets.
Pro tip: There are members who don’t live full-time in Paris, so if you’re here on-and-off, you may still be able to partake. And of course there are other clubs like this in other cities around the world.
Reach Out to Other Substackers You Admire. Comment on their work here and there, write them a note, get on their radar. If you’re in the same city, suggest a breakfast or late-morning teatime. Not everyone will be receptive or available, and not every coffee hour will bring BFE (best-friend energy), but you’d be surprised how many women are looking for kinship.
Start Something. Launch your own themed cocktail hour or creative Zoom call. Aren’t we all seeking real community? The way I see it, the more we can promote and encourage each other, the better. When I dreamed up Le Salon (the delightful creative online events where we chat and then work alongside each other on our individual projects for an hour), I had no idea it would be so meaningful. I never imagined I’d meet so many women I admire and whom I’d definitely like to meet in person one day, in Paris or elsewhere!
And Now, Just a Very Few (Among Many) Amazing and Inspirational Women to Check Out on Substack
Click on their names to learn more about each one if you like.
France Complaints Department (Expat Edition): I Wrote a Note
As you may know, I always do my best to keep it real about my life in France, with it’s sunshine and its showers, des délices et des défis (the delights and the challenges). My general approach in life is relatively joyous, but I fully admit that yeah, I’ve called my best friend in New York to rant (and sob) about how it simply was not possible that I’d just failed my French driving test for the third time (after driving—in NYC—for 30+ years). But although I may get frustrated, I remain respectful, reverent and receptive to this new (old) world I’ve joined. I consider it an honor to have the chance to live in France.
But yesterday I just had to post a note after several recent brushes with fellow Americans who’ve “moved” to France, only to—wouldn’t you know?—instantly find themselves (self-) certified experts on French culture and “helping us” by “teaching” us everything annoying and ridiculous thing “the French” do, as if the population were a monolith.
Why Do Americans Feel the Need to Immediately Prove They Know Something About France?
This has even happened to me in person a few times, where someone who’s basically living as a tourist here tries (unsuccessfully) to get me on board with their extremely confident (wrong) thinking that, “Ugh, of course the French always do this or that.”
Why don’t I jump on the bandwagon? Because évidemment (obviously), nobody always does anything. And in fact my experience here, as someone who approaches cultural differences respectfully and with a sincere desire to learn and assimilate, is not at all parallel to theirs.
These folks will often abandon the whole move-to-France exercise when they realize (the horror!) that France wasn’t waiting for them to get here, and that the French s’en fichent (couldn’t care less) if new arrivals have to do some painful adjusting to the way things work here. Ça fait chier (it’s annoying as shit). Can you believe these French people are just over here living their own French lives? I know, right?! So rude.
My note was a cry for the wee-est lil’ bit o’ humility from the expats, and it’s already sparked (as Substack often does) a remarkably spirited conversation, which you’re welcome to join.
OK, on va respirer (let’s take a deep breath) and embrace the summer vibes 🤣
Just in Case You Need a Super-Easy, Chic and Fresh French Dessert for Your 4th of July Weekend—Here Are Two:
Coming Next Week: Updates on My First Concerts with the Jazz Band in Paris
For those of you who may be newer here, I dared myself (with a push from my charming husband) to audition to sing with a Parisian jazz band, although I’d never sung with live musicians before.
Spoiler alert: they accepted me and I’m now part of the group! We’ve finally started performing, so I’ll share more about the terrifying first performances, my prof de chante (singing teacher) and how taking big creative risks will almost always improve your life, as long as you don’t end up in the emergency room hyperventilating from anxiety related to the pursuit of your fondest dreams.
Bon, c’est tout pour aujourd’hui les ami.e.s (Well, that’s all for today my friends). Wherever you are in this great big world, and in whatever culture you find yourself, I’m wishing you wonder, gratitude and the inevitable contentment of heart that emanates from one simple choice: to be a student of the universe instead of a know-it-all.
Très belle week-end and Happy 4th to all who celebrate !
Bisous 😘
And count on me coming to see you perform!
Just love your attitude and understanding! I love your Paris!