Be Careful What You Wish For

Like, Are You Ready Right Now If Someone Offers Up Your Dream? Plus, French Sex Talk!

Coucou Mes Petits Choux (Hi My Darlings),

Ça va ? On se fait la bise ? (How are you? Should we kiss on the cheek?). Oui, oui !

OK let’s get this train rolling with a big merci to all those who answered last week’s poll about how you’re doing so far in 2025.

Voici les résultats (Here are the results):

• 51% feeling good/strong

• 9% not quite sure

• 12% a bit down

• 28% un peu de tout (a little of everything), just like me

• And one reader shared a brilliant French word for an unfortunate universal feeling in the comments when she didn’t find her description in the options: “angoissée” (anxious)

Whatever you’re feeling right now, you’re here with us for this little moment and yes, I speak for all of us in saying, we’re delighted about that! Let’s share some joy, and maybe let’s take a more French approach to life this year, shall we?

Current Mood. Photo: Stephen Leonardi

Then let’s laugh at the latest thing I’ve gotten myself into here in France…oh mon Dieu, it’s freaking me out, as you’ll see below. But I wonder if anything like it has ever happened to you? If so I could use some advice.

But first, Si tu t’en fiche (if you’re just not that into) reading about the trap I’ve set for myself by voicing my dreams aloud, just scroll way on down and you’ll find a list of the funny French expressions I learned last week in my continued pursuit of “janvier français” (French January) where my (French) husband and I have committed to only speaking French with each other all month.

Par contre (on the other hand) if you simply want to kick back and make a January-friendly, low-carb Stuffed Cabbage Lasagna, go for it! Or an easy-cheesy French winter classic: La Tartiflette.

Recette (Recipe): Pasta-free Stuffed Cabbage Lasagna

What Does “Only Speaking French” Mean Exactly, Like In Detail? Well, It Means:

• Quand on raconte des histoires ou bien quand on plaisante (When we tell stories or make jokes)

• Même quand on parle dans le passé (Even when we speak in the past)

• Même quand on est avec la famille française ou des amis francophones (Even when we are with French-speaking family and friends)

• Même quand on s’envoie les textos (Even when we’re sending text messages to each other)

• Même au lit (Even in bed) 🤭

• Même si on discute des choses sérieuses sur notre relation et que l’on veut exprimer nos besoins (Even if we have a serious discussion about our relationship where we are expressing our needs)

If Monsieur B Speaks Perfect English (He Does, and He Even Has a Sexy Bond Villain Accent), Then Why Do You Put Yourself Through This?

Well, that’s a question I get from a number of people, and I hope this isn’t too controversial, but it’s like I tell my non-French speaking friends who have francophone partners:

Why should your spouse have to bear the responsibility of speaking to you in a second language, always and in every situation, when they’re tired, when they just get home from work, during difficult situations, meeting your friends, having serious discussions, telling stories and even in bed—just so that you don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable to learn something hard?

I’m Talking to Anyone Who Might Want a French-Speaking Partner, Even in the Future

I also say that it doesn’t get any easier to switch languages the longer you live together, so you should start now, even if you start small. And you should hire a language teacher, because while your partner should be happy to speak with you, je te promets (I promise you) they do not want to teach you French grammar.

OK, this has been my francophile Public Service Announcement. Je vous en prie.

If you’re upping your janvier français game and you want to learn how to talk about sex in French, take a look at this funny lady on the ‘Gram:

french_with_clemence

A post shared by @french_with_clemence

Fun French Fact from Janvier Français: my favorite French phrase of the last week is: “Je vais lui botter le cul” (I’m gonna kick his/her ass), learned while watching Yellowstone with French subtitles with Monsieur B 🤠 🐴

OK, So What Is This Pickle I’ve Gotten Myself Into In Paris?

Well, if you read my last post and if you scrolled all the way down to the bottom, I’d listed some things I’d like to accomplish or try in 2025. And in fact, I’d talked about this particular wish even before that, in a post where I described our soirée karaoke (karaoke night) at a Chinese resto in the 13ème arrondissement of Paris.

I may have mentioned that Monsieur B had been encouraging my singing after he heard me come in hot with my signature song, Jolene, and then raise the roof with Dancing Queen.

Friends, you already know I adore the idea of singing in a band, even if aside from starring in several high school musicals à l’époque (back in the day), I have what could be described as ZERO experience. The problem is, this very idea terrifies me, even as a person who doesn’t generally mind doing things that make me nervous.

But in bringing voice to my silly band fantasy, I forgot—or I overlooked the fact—that my sweet husband reads all my newsletters, then goes directly to the office and tells all his colleagues everything. Thus, my problem.

You see, as it turns out, one of his work friends is in an actual band. And they’re looking for une chanteuse (a female singer) for a gig in June. And Monsieur B told him, “Mais si, elle veut bien vous rejoindre !” (Why yes, she’d love to join you!)

Ah bon ?! (Really?!) I am, to borrow a phrase from that lovely reader of last week’s poll, super angoissée (super stressed out) by this invitation, and I may flee Paris altogether to avoid this situation.

What scares me so much? Probably just the concept that I will most certainly disappoint someone who works with my husband every day, and then by association (and more importantly), I’ll disappoint my love. I mean, have you seen All. These. People on Instagram who sing like Eurovision competition winners with nothing more than a mic in their bedroom?

I of course said “Non, merci,” thinking he was just joking, and we never spoke of it again. But then today my darling sent me a set list of the songs, a playlist (that he had made for me) and instructions from the colleague, including that we’re going have a rehearsal in February! In a studio.

Below are just some of the French text messages that came through, as evidence.

Lost in (Musical) French Translation:

Left, from top (and keeping in mind that I never agreed to anything):

My Husband’s Colleague: “She doesn’t need to sing everything, Karen can choose 2-3 (at least one of the Latin ones) and we'll do a rehearsal in a studio in Paris in February to make sure all goes well."

Monsieur B to me: "Here is the list of songs you're going to sing."

Then at right, from Monsieur B: "Paul is renegotiating the fee for the concert. Now with a female singer!"

Me: “He has 6 months, I’m sure he can find one!”

Well, maybe it’s time for another poll, les ami(e)s…

The real question is, should you follow your dreams all the way, even if they terrify you, even if you might fail? Is it already a victory just because you tried?

Speaking of Big Dreams, Here’s an Exciting Announcement!

We’re planning something new here for early February—it’s an online meetup to talk about reigniting your creativity and how to jump-start that project you’ve been dreaming about, despite your fears, despite the obstacles.

If you’re interested in joining, leave a comment or send me a message. Even though I’m in France, we’ll choose a time that works well in the US. And we’ll have a conversation that will inspire and motivate you!

Details will be shared soon, but the event will be free and there will be limited attendance so that we can really connect. Those who can make it will also get a first look at some other fun things we have in the works to help us live a life that lives up to our dreams.

The Musée Jacquemart-André is a private museum located at 158 Boulevard Haussmann in the 8ème arrondissement of Paris. The museum was created from the private home of Édouard André and Nélie Jacquemart to display the art they collected during their lives.

A Moment of Fun French Culture

We traveled for one week at Christmas and spent the rest of the time here in Paris going to museums. There is simply no better guide than Monsieur B, as he loves bringing history to life. I’ll leave you now with something I noticed at an exhibition we saw last week at a truly special museum in Paris called le Musée Jacquemart-André.

I’d like to say in advance that I mean no disrespect with these images—I actually found them so charming. It’s just that the people in these medieval paintings seem to be throwing vibes, and I love it!

I'm just sayin, I get Kevin Spacey at bottom right, and if you can zoom in, the Baby Jesus is not having it at top left. Am I right?

OK Cuties,

I leave you now, but only temporarily. Don’t forget to leave me a comment or send me a message if you’re interested in more info on the creativity meetup that’s coming up online.

Bon week-end à toutes et à tous !