The Truth About Being an American in Paris at Thanksgiving

Plus Bitchy French and More

Coucou les ami(e)s (Hi there friends),

Before I can begin any Thanksgiving post, I must first give thanks—to you. When I started this Substack, I really didn’t think it would be this much fun or that I’d have the good fortune to connect with so many fascinating and delightful people. And it’s so, so wonderful to be surprised. Merci d’être là (Thank you for being here).

If you’re just looking for some great holiday recipe ideas or some “Bitchy French,” scroll all the way down. C’est pas grave (it’s no big deal).

Being an American in France at Thanksgiving

Now, I know the subject of Thanksgiving can be un peu controversé (controversial), but I adore it for my own reasons. Mostly I love the gathering and the gratitude, both of which I find worthy of celebration and both of which we need now more than ever. I also relish the setting of a beautiful table, planning the menu and wines, and sharing un repas savoreux (a tasty meal) along with conversation and laughter.

But the simple fact is, as an American living in France with a French family, Thanksgiving can be a bit of a let-down.

Why? Well, it’s certainly not because we can’t get good ingredients, although it’s tough to find some of the staples, such as graham crackers and pumpkin purée and fresh cranberries. When I found pumpkin purée last year at La Grande Epicérie in the “American Aisle” 😂 I bought two cans and it cost me nearly $20. But the abundance of des volailles (poultry), des légumes et des fruits fermiers (farm fruits and vegetables)—it’s all very inspiring.

No, it’s just more of a low-key loneliness. Because if you’re an American living in France with your American family, at least you have the shared excitement of creating an event that you all understand and treasure. Whereas if your family here is French (or another nationality), it’s kind of like watching your favorite movie with folks who just aren’t that into it.

But Am I Really Lonely in Paris?

Absolument pas (absolutely not). In fact my social life has never been more exciting or fun—well, not since I was a globe-trotting magician’s assistant on a cruise ship in the 80s. You can see a photo of that in this post from the archive si c’est ton truc (if that’s your thing).

It’s just that first of all, a lot of my American friends leave Paris around Thanksgiving for visits to family in the States. Some of them don’t return till after the holidays, or until the weather gets better au printemps (in springtime). So quite a few of my girlfriend activities temporarily go dormant, like our garden in the French countryside, waiting out the cold for the happy return of the flowers.

That being said, there are fun events and even a holiday soirée with the American Women’s Group of Paris for those who are here in town. Also, it’s Paris, so don’t complain!

Hot Tip: Ladies: you can join this group and feel like an insider, even if you don’t live in Paris all the time.

How to say “Thanksgiving” in French

The French (Understandably) Just Don’t “Get” Thanksgiving.

That’s not a criticism. It’s not a thing here, not un jour férié (a holiday). Just an average Thursday in November. It’s kind of like how I don’t get their “Saint Name Day” deal — the day on the calendar each year where the saint bearing their name is celebrated.

As an example, one day Monsieur B came home and told me he’d brought chouquettes as a treat for all his office colleagues that morning.

When I asked why, since we’d already had breakfast, he said, “As-tu oublié quel jour on est?” (Did you forget what day it is?”)

I unsuccessfully tried to create a facial expression that said, “I’m not blanking.”

“On fête la Saint C- aujourd’hui !” (It’s Saint C- Day). He sighed, then led me over to the calendar sur le frigo (on the fridge) that conveniently shows all the saint names of the year, et tu sais quoi ? (and you know what?) He was right. It was his day.

But you know what else? Apparently, there’s no Saint Karen. Ah bon ?! (Really?)

Fun French Fact: Did you know that in most French office settings, it’s customary for the person whose birthday or “Saint Name" Day it is to bring des croissants or d’autres viennoiseries (other pastries) for the whole group?

Thanksgiving Doesn’t Really Translate.

Même si Monsieur B est le meilleur du monde (even though Monsieur B is the best in the world), when he suggested we start Thanksgiving at 20h (8PM) on Thanksgiving Day after he gets home from a big meeting, he just couldn’t have known:

Thanksgiving begins in the morning and it goes on All. Day. Long.

And then some.

Sometimes there’s a Turkey Trot the Saturday before or after. There’s the défilé de Thanksgiving de Macy’s (the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade) and Black Friday shopping to consider (although in France we now have Black Friday, too). There’s the open-faced leftover sandwichs (that’s not a typo, that’s how you spell the plural of sandwich in French, even though you don’t pronounce the “s”).

I don’t need the college football, but still. My point is, Thanksgiving: It’s not just a special meal. It’s a mindset. Can I get an Amen?

L’art de la table. I found this stunning handmade lace nappe (tablecloth) for a song at a brocante shop and couldn’t wait to use it.

How Do You Celebrate Thanksgiving in France?

Last year we attended the elegant annual American Club of Paris Thanksgiving Dinner at Le Musée de la Chasse et de la Nature (The Museum of Hunting and Nature). It was festive, and people wore gowns and tuxedos. (By the way, it’s a jewel of a museum for those who have already seen the other big Paris highlights). But it wasn’t…Thanksgiving. Et en plus, ce n’était pas donné (and on top of that, it wasn’t cheap)!

The year before that was a lot of fun, because it was my first Thanksgiving as a real French resident, and I wanted to do it up for the friends and family. There was a whole drama about the turkey and whether or not it would fit in our French oven à la campagne (in the countryside). It did and I think everyone enjoyed the food, even if they couldn’t understand why there were soooo many side dishes.

But our favorite voisins (neighbors) outdid me by gifting us a complete wheel of Brie de Melun (or was it Brie de Meaux ?) that was so enormous (think small cat bed), we had to cut it up and freeze it in parts.

This Thanksgiving in France

Since that first Thanksgiving, I’ve discovered the incredible deliciousness of France’s other birds. This year I’ll be roasting un chapon (a capon) that I’ve ordered from a local butcher. Smaller than most turkeys, succulent, and perfect for our sweet little fête, since no one else is joining us this year. After all, it’s just another jeudi (Thursday). On est en semaine ! (It’s a weekday!)

Holiday Recipe Inspiration (with French Flair and without)

I decided to keep my recommendations in the entrée, accompagnement (side dish) and dessert (dessert) lanes, because I know there’s a lot out there to digest. But if you’re looking for more of a total package holiday food inspo, why not pay tribute to the late great Anthony Bourdain by making his entire Thanksgiving Day Menu, courtesy of Food & Wine and a blog site called “Eat Like Bourdain.” Allez, go !

Fun French Food Fact: In French, entrée means “starter” and plat or plat principal means “main course.” So don’t be fooled when reading la carte (the menu).

Recipe Inspo for the Holidays (or Any Cozy Meal)

APPETIZERS OR LUNCH

If good figs are available in your area, this is a great starter or Thanksgiving week lighter lunch option. Also, it’s so easy and quick to make (and so pretty).

Frenchify Your Weekend with This Sweet and Savory Fig Tart

While I couldn’t honestly say that this recipe for Camembert Two Ways (Roasted or Fried) is “light,” it is mind-blowingly decadent in either form. And we discovered the fried variation by accident when Monsieur B bought me a Japanese fry pot (!) instead of the air fryer that I wanted. #lostinfoodietranslation

HOT SIDE DISHES

Traditional Gratin Dauphinois from Julia Child, for you purists out there who don’t need cheese. Or just be a rebel (like Julia was) and throw in some Gruyère.

Corre Larkin’s version of Pommes Boulangères looks so good, even though I’m not sure why she makes it in such a deep pot. I would use a cast-iron or other oven-proof skillet that is a little less deep.

cocolarkincooks

A post shared by @cocolarkincooks

Classic Ina Garten (from 2009) rocking a super Spinach Gratin that I have made I don’t know how many times. The key is frozen spinach!

A Green Bean Casserole de dingue (crazy delicious) from Chef Gabriel Rucker, with a brilliant secret ingredient: dashi powder.

SALADS

I love this Lemon Garlic Kale Salad from the great Julia Moskin of The New York Times. Fun (somewhat unrelated-to-food) fact: I designed the flowers at Julia’s New York City wedding, back when I was a floral stylist for Chef Rocco DiSpirito, who catered the reception.

She had planned her wedding to take place in the city’s most anticipated new restaurant, which unfortunately failed to finish construction in time for the celebration. But Julia (who is named after Julia Child) pivoted gracefully and did the whole shebang in a loft space above the Chelsea Market.

A “Very Crunchy” salad from

Alison Roman

, featuring bitter or peppery greens, apples, fennel and pecans. Sorry, I had nothing to do with Alison’s great-looking wedding, but I am in love with anchovy butter, just like she is.

DESSERTS

Even if you don’t make this Sticky Toffee Pumpkin Cake, you gotta take a look at

paris starn

’s Substack. She’s a former fashion designer who just, well, has a way with food—and a whole lot of patience.

For a Frenchier fin de repas (end of meal), how about a rustic Tarte aux pommes (Apple Tart) from the legendary (and adorable) Jacques Pépin?

A Note About (French) Wine and Thanksgiving

I’ve written a new article about the 10 cru Beaujolais, any number of which would be great for a holiday meal. Check it out here. Then if you want to know how to pronounce the names of the wines, there’s an audio guide for that too!

What the Heck Is Bitchy French and Why Do I Need It in My Life?

I follow a lot of French teachers and native speakers online to help with more complex expressions and to build my “everyday French” vocab. Recently I stumbled upon this fabulous guy whose talent lies in showing us polite ways to say varying important things en français standard (in standard—and polite—French). You know, how do you say “I’m sorry I’m late” in French and the like.

The (addictive) twist is that he ends every micro-lesson with how to say the same phrase in “bitchy French.” Genius! Any truly devoted French student (plus anyone who loves happy sass on the Internet) will revel in his pure Frenchiness, even if we aren’t quite able to pull it all off (I speak for myself!) as he does so naturally. Warning: you will giggle and want him to be your friend.

btchyfrench

A post shared by @btchyfrench

Happy Thanksgiving mes chères et chers,

Karen

PS: If you know someone who might enjoy our wanderings here, please do share. It’s free but it means a lot to me. Merci merci !