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Mary Feeney's avatar

Lovely post, Karen. I lived in Paris (mais "ça fait un bail") and speak very good French but always learn new expressions from you. French folks don't have too much trouble with my first name since I simply become "Marie." My more Anglo-centric friends favor "Méré." My Irish family name is always more of a problem. I spell it out "F comme François, deux E comme dans une omelette..."

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Merci merci and I love the deux E jeu de mot—very cute and very French !! It’s really fun seeing how everyone else deals with Frenchifying their names 💕💕

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Erin Henderson's avatar

I’ve just returned from Paris (and a trip through Champagne and Alsace) and miss it already!

People were kind and patient, but “Erin” is confusing for the French, seemingly, and my French isn’t rapid fire, at all, so when panicking I would say my name is Pierre. Pierre Chateauneuf-du-Pape.

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Ha ! I love this. I sometimes use “Kiki” in this type of situation—brava !! What was you favorite part of the trip?

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Erin Henderson's avatar

Kiki! How fabulous. I loved Strasbourg, it was a complete surprise and a fantastic one at that. Have you been? It’s magical.

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Yes, I absolutely love Strasbourg and agree—I was surprised by it too. My stepson is at university there right now so we have even more reason to visit. So charming and elegant

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Erin Henderson's avatar

Jealous! What a fabulous city.

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Véronique Savoye's avatar

My favorite introduction when meeting new French students or participants in my travel workshops while living Stateside? “Bonjour. My name is Véronique Savoye (pronounced the French way.)” When I relocated to Seattle I became “VeroNICA Suh-VO-Yee” (pronounced with an exaggerated American accent.) — I always got a lot of laughs out of that and still do while leading American tour groups around France. ;-)

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Karen Bussen's avatar

So funny!! Your name acquired more syllables 😃

And thank you for this perspective—it just reminds us that this applies for any change to a new culture with a new language. It’s almost like we become a little bit of a different person. Merci ❣️

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Kathy Janiec's avatar

Hi Karen, I think we are a bit different in another language, it's like it brings out different sides of our personality.

I've remarked over time that when I'm speaking French it's in a slightly higher 'pitch' than in English (and lower volume of course).

My name is Kathy which means I've become Ka-'tea' because the 'th' does not exist in French.

I sincerely regret that the announcers on TV and radio ads never got their acts together to pronounce the name of the show 'The Voice' properly. We could have had a whole generation of kids who would have at least heard it correctly and maybe would have tried the mouth and jaw gymnastics to 'spit out' the 'th' sound (it actually only takes placing the tongue a tiny bit between the teeth). Otherwise it comes out as ze, ve, de, fe Voice! 😱

My daughters were coached to work on the Spanish 'r' sound as of 'collège' level, so it's possible.

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Yes!! My voice is different too! I’ve picked up the habit of all the filler sounds like hein, beh, etc. Oh the dreaded ‘th’ 😂

I do love it when my husband calls me Ka-RENNE 👸💕

And I really wish I’d had better pronunciation training at the beginning bc it’s so much harder to correct later! Thank you for writing me—I love this comment 💐

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Kathy Janiec's avatar

I think pronunciation is actually more key to being understood than our ‘accents’. I was lucky to have a French professor of phonetics at university, which even after a Junior year abroad here, helped me even more with certain sounds.

If squirrel is tough for non-English speakers, what about ‘écureuil’!?

After living here for more than 40 years, also married to Frenchman, people still know I'm from elsewhere! It's part of what defines me I guess.

Maybe your husband is calling you his queen : Ka-reine 😊

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Jane Bertch's avatar

Love this in so many ways. I’m in the constant battle of people wanting to say ‘Jeanne’….I usually have to say ‘Jane comme Tarzan’ 🤣

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Karen Bussen's avatar

I love Jane like Tarzan, that’s delightful 😃

So funny how we all have to come up with something! I can’t believe how many people are leaving comments here about this, it’s amazing.

Wait, I also just thought of Jane like Birkin? But Tarzan is much more fun ❣️

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Caroline McCormick-Clarke🐆🧀🎨✍️'s avatar

Good to read your Substack again Karen. Sounds like you’ve been having a fab time. So please your mobility issue is starting to resolve itself - it can be so frustrating.

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Thank you so much and I really appreciate your note about my injury. Something like this hopefully just makes us more consciously grateful for that mobility with every step 💃🏼

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AMS's avatar

Happy to see your post, and appreciate now having more ideas about things to do in France/EU. So is Mr. B planting all the bulbs, too? It's easy to buy, just sayin' :). Bonne chance with your injury - rolfing is another modality to consider (the reasonably gentle, not the painful version). It's helped me a lot with aches and pains I never thought I'd get over. I didn't like how my name was pronounced (or at least how my teacher, a woman raised in NJ who was so immersed that she spoke English with a French accent in our small town) so was Dominique in class all through high school. One of my HS friends still calls me that!

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Karen Bussen's avatar

OK first off you took me right back to junior high French class when my French name was Geneviève 😂💕

Next, yes Monsieur B not only bought the bulbs—he also dutifully dug all the holes and it was super easy to place the cartons. The whole thing only took about an hour!!

I’ve heard of Rolfing but never had it but I am going to do some digging here in Paris to see if I could try it—merci for the tip! 🌷

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Caroline Smrstik's avatar

I am asked so often about my first name, if it is pronounced CARE-uh-lin or CARE-oh-LINE or Ca-ro-LEEN or Ca-ro-LEEN-eh or … and I tell people to just pick one and I’ll probably answer. Here I was thinking I was blessed with a first name that is internationally compatible, yet I was wrong. Sigh.

Just don’t call me Carol. Meh.

(alors, en français c’est Cah-ro-LEEN, tout simple!)

No one can pronounce my surname.

(Except the Czechs, but they’re confused because it should be Smrstiková.)

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Hee hee I love this--too many options, but yes, in France at least everyone (meaning the French) will likely say it the same way because it's a well-loved name. And yes, your nom de famille is a tough one. I would guess SMUR-stick (sorry for my poor phonetics) 🧚‍♀️ 💕

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Caroline Smrstik's avatar

pas mal! 😉

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Meghan's avatar

I feel your pain. I am a walker/hiker but 53 is catching me off guard. I've had this pain in my lower back that's really been bumming me out. I've been doing all the things like you and it hasn't left yet. Next it's onto an MRI to figure it out. All of my friends of the same age all have something going on. I guess it's just the start of the physical decline :-( But there are always things to look forward to and for me it's finding out what you and Jane are up to!!!!! When are we going to find out??? Bisous to you.

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Oh I hope the MRI (or IRM as we call it in French) will help you resolve your back pain. Sending you healing vibes!Thanks so much for writing me—I agree, so much to look forward to!!

As for the future plans, stay tuned 💕💕

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Gail's avatar

Love reading your posts. They inspired me over the last months while I was planning my own move to Paris. Happy to say I landed three weeks ago with three duffle bags and a cat. Now I if I just find that perfect apartment...

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Bienvenue en France 🇫🇷 ! Wow, that is no small feat. Was bringing the cat over difficult? I’d say take your time on the apartment if you can—unless you already know your preferred neighborhood, etc. It can be challenging to rent here, so stay strong and ask a lot of questions!! Bonne continuation and thanks so much for writing to me—it really means a lot 🌺

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Gail's avatar

Thanks for the apartment advice, I have crazy decision fatigue so not in a hurry to start the search. In retrospect, all the cat paperwork and vet visits in both counties was one of the easiest parts of the move. Ending a career, getting rid of a lifetime of stuff, leaving the security of everything I know, that was the challenging part. But you've done that, you understand completely. And with all of it, I am so, so happy to be here!

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Yes, I hear you. My best advice would just be to take your time. With all of that massive effort there is of course the excitement (and well worth it-life here is great). But you’ll of course still grieve a bit for all that you did leave behind. So be very sweet to yourself and enjoy every moment of this new adventure ✨

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Frenchify with Giselle Bawnik's avatar

Glad you prioritize connection. I do too although it can be a struggle when those pesky "shoulds" come uninvited. One helpful tip I just learned is: Turn the "shoulds" into "coulds". I should clean the bathroom and then study Proust becomes I could clean the bathroom and then study Proust What do I really do?

Go out for coffee and read detective novels in French.

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Yes, I love that trick! Thank you for taking the time to write. I'd love to read a French detective novel so if you've got any recommendations, I'd be grateful 💕🌸

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Kathy Janiec's avatar

Hi again, I'm going to transfer this to my daughter who runs because I think she'll be very interested in the Munz floor technique of stretching. She also has had special insoles from the podologue for over 5 years now (and may need to have them reevaluated) after a running injury that landed her with a hairline fracture along her tibia. She was also counseled to get her running shoes with a specific 'drop'.

I was very glad to read and see that you've recovered (after such a long and frustrating time...) enough to do a run at Fontainebleau!

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Oh I really hope the Munz floor will help her—I really really love it and I was never much of a stretcher ❣️😘😘

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Kristen Douglas's avatar

So nice to read of all your adventures. I'm also a creative, and my husband and I will be moving to France from the US, hopefully in the spring. My husband is especially interested in a French pronunciation of his name (Dale Roe), because when we were in France, no French person could seem to say it. One of our AirBNB hostesses said, "Dahl? Dell?" Never got that long A sound.

Mine is Kristen Douglas - if my former French teacher was correct, it would sound like "Krees-TEN", but I don't know. :)

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Karen Bussen's avatar

OK I had a long convo with my (French) husband about your husband's name, which admittedly in French is challenging, so you probably need to do two things (in our opinion haha).

1) Learn how most French people will likely say his name if they're calling him in a doctor's office or another appointment. My guess is most will say "Dahl Roh" -- so just be on the lookout (hear-out) for that

2) Decide how he wants to present himself. If he wants folks to call him Dale (with a long A), then say it as he pronounces it and spell it immediately, with French alphabet pronunciation (deh-ah-el-uh). And I would do first name then last name in most situations. When you make friends, they will likely do their best to pronounce it the way he likes, so it will mostly be in more formal settings that it's a bit awkward. Sorry if this is too much info--just hope it's helpful!!

For your name, yes, Krees-TEN is perfect, and I would spell it, too. Your last name I think would follow the same rule-- Doug-LAHS

Roh-la-la ! Bienvenue en France et bonne continuation -- thanks for writing to me 🥰

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Kristen Douglas's avatar

Ha! I love it. Thanks for that lengthy and informative response. I think Dale is resigned to "Dahl Roh", but he will probably get any new French friends to try to use the long A - or he'll be satisfied with the English, Irish, Scottish, and Americans understanding the name - they invented it. It means "valley" in the old Scot/Irish vernacular. They have a longstanding habit of naming people after odd land patterns. My grandfather (American, but his grandfather was from Scotland) was actually named "Valley". Names are fun :) Hope to meet you one day after we've moved to France.

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Michelle Richmond's avatar

This was such a delight to read? My name is a man's name in French, but at least no one ever had trouble pronouncing it! Funny, I walked by the Crillon hundreds of times while living in Paris (I was an "embassy spouse") but never thought to eat there!

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Oh merci ❣️I am so happy you wrote me

First off, you’re in luck because Michelle (feminine) and Michel (masculine) are both classic French names—after all, your name end in “elle” which means “she” — so you (unlike some of us) never have to worry when introducing yourself in French!! Your name is actually French!!

Next, yes the Crillon is a good fancy meetup spot, but you don’t necessarily have to eat there— we had tea and sweets in the Jardin d’Hiver and it’s just a classic address for now and then!

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Michelle Richmond's avatar

Oh, I knew it was French but I never knew it was also a female name in France!

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Mais oui ! You are basically already French ❣️❣️

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David Gemeinhardt's avatar

I love being DaVEED.

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Karen Bussen's avatar

J’adore ❣️

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Debbie's avatar

Hi, Karen

In the U.S. I feel that we are a culture of being pressured to be doing something "productive". Somehow I find a balance between work and play which more so than not tends to veer towards work. Somehow I fit in the good times. When I take time out for me, I find that my batteries get charged to pursue the next task.

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Yes! I have relaxed so much since moving to France, but it took a while. Now I’m just navigating that new chapter that is unfolding. But you’re so right—taking time for ourselves is the absolute key—hope you can do that for you!! 💐

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Sacha Cohen's avatar

I’m glad you’re feeling better!

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Karen Bussen's avatar

Merci Sacha, it feels like a ✨miracle ✨ How are things your way? Getting ready for the big move to France?! 🇫🇷

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Sacha Cohen's avatar

Sending you a PM :)

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