Things I Wish I'd Known Before Moving To France

I thought I knew a whole lot about France before I ended up marrying my French sweetheart and moving here to start our new life together. And I am so delighted by my life here.

It has expanded not only my heart but my mind and my cultural understanding. I am absolutely changing and growing as a result of this move I undertook in my mid-fifties after I met my now husband in the middle of the pandemic.

But I have been surprised by a few things. I'm just sharing my experience with some of the elements that were unexpected, like how tough it was to open a bank account as an American, how different the system is with bank cards instead of credit cards, my adventure in "civic training" (I loved it!), and more. Don't get me started about the driver's license situation haha!   

If you're planning a move to France, I hope these are things that may help you a little. They're definitely things I wish I had known before, but there's always so much to discover when you are picking up your whole life and moving across the world.

The main thing I've learned is just to be flexible, humble, patient, and persistent.

And to know that there will be ups and downs. And to give yourself credit for being bold enough to make such a big life change. I'm still finding my way after being here for a year, so I'll keep you posted!

Here are some of the biggest things I wish I had known, as listed in the red Moleskin notebook I keep.

I addressed them to my former self. If you’d like more, you can also check out the video below on my YouTube channel, where I talk about whatever comes to mind, including design, writing, life in France, and my personal journey learning the French language.

1. You will be challenged by things that you never would’ve imagined. There will be things that were so small at home that you never gave them any thought. And those things may temporarily shake your confidence. For me, it was the anxiety of navigating new systems that would be super easy for me in the US (bank, hair salons, doctor, taxes, even just shopping at a farmer’s market).

2. Even though you are living your dream, you will feel a bit out of sorts from time to time, sometimes for seemingly no reason. Even if you speak French, you may feel like an outsider even though you’re a full-fledged resident with a French family. And that’s OK.

3. Resist the temptation to fight the system. That’s why I mentioned the humility above. If you’re respectful and polite, you’ll get a lot further faster. Note: it is not helpful to say, “Mais c’est ridicule madame !” (“But that’s ridiculous, Ma’am!”). It won’t get you where you want to go, nor will explaining to a French person why things work differently in the US. Just go with the French flow!

4. You’ll make mistakes in speaking French. All the time. Sometimes really stupid and embarrassing mistakes. And sometimes French people will correct you. And that’s OK. I’ve been humiliated so many times and I just laugh it off and use it as “great self-deprecating story” material at cocktail parties with other French people. Also, if you don’t let yourself make mistakes, I guarantee you you’ll never really speak French.

5. You can’t necessarily exchange your US driver’s license to a French permis de conduire. It depends on which state you come from.

6. French pharmacies are wonderful! You can go there if you’re not feeling well and you’ll be greeted by a team of professionals who will listen to you and propose products if applicable. Mine even recommended a doctor when I got a sinus infection right before my wedding. Pharmacies here are clean, organized and dare I say, elegant? What you will not find in French pharmacies: food, house cleaning products, pantyhose, hair ties, nail polish, flip flops, stuffed animals, school supplies or magazines. What you will find—great skin products, quality medicines (and all the equivalents of any prescriptions you may have), and really helpful staff. That being said, if you do have favorite US brand over-the-counter medications, like NyQuil or Zyrtec, etc., you won’t find those here.

7. It’s better not to ship furniture overseas. Expensive and you may have to pay an additional tax on items. Sell or give away as much as possible.

8. Insider tip: The pillow sizes in France are different than US sizes. So either leave your pillows and pillow cases behind and just buy French, or bring both with you because the American sizes are really tough to find.

The 6 things in the video below are different than the above! Check them out if they’re of interest or if you’re planning a move to France.

A bientôt les amis !